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"My Son"

Updated: Aug 8, 2023

John 11:35

By Drew Zuverink

"Jesus wept."


God blessed my wife and I with our first child, Rory Joseph, on Thursday August 3, 2023. We are so incredibly grateful for him as we completely understand that he was not promised. God chose to give him to us as a gift and we will forever view him that way. Even now as I write this he is strapped in right beside me making the cutest little noises, and I can't help but to stare and smile, whispering, "thank you" to God over and over again.


It's hard to choose the right words to describe the deep feelings I have for my newborn son. I don't even want to try, because no matter how I phrase it, the words will fall infinitely short of capturing my love for him. And I'm not just writing that to sound good, I actually mean that.


It isn't hard to describe why I love him so much though. It did not matter if he was born healthy or sick. It did not matter if he was cute or ugly. It didn't even matter if he was disabled and could never talk to me. The only thing that mattered was that he is my son and that's why I love him.


The day that our little family left the hospital, my wife and I decided to have little Rory circumcised. The information we received about the health benefits of circumcision was a little bit mixed, so I am not going to try to argue for or against it. Ultimately, though, we decided the way that we did because we thought it would be best for him long term. But that decision hurt my heart because I knew it would hurt him - and it did. He cried quite a bit that morning, and in that moment, I instantly began to dread all of the times in the future when my decisions, that will always be for his good, will cause him pain. There was something about seeing my son in pain that hurt my heart in ways that I didn't know my heart could hurt.


I have no reason to believe that my fatherly love is greater than God's love for his children. In fact, the better that I love my son and the deeper that I feel for him, the more like God I am. Which makes me wonder, how bad does God's heart hurt when he makes decisions for us that cause us pain? In John 11, Jesus weeps because his friends are grieving, even though he knew that he was about to take away their grief in less than 10 minutes!


We might not understand why we go through so many painful seasons of life, especially because we know that God could snap his fingers and make everything ok in an instant. But if my brief stint in fatherhood has taught me anything, it's that God's heart hurts when ours do. I have no doubt about that anymore. And just because he knows that what we are going through is ultimately for our good, that doesn't take away the heartache. I think God wants us to know that.


Perhaps the only thing, literally the only thing, keeping us in our painful situation is God's love. It takes a lot of love to leave your children in pain when you know you could take it away. Everything in you wants to rush in and make everything better, but you can't, not if you love them.


Life is hard enough without questioning God's fatherly care for us. Painful things are in our future, that is a guarantee from scripture itself. God's also not going to take all of our pain away and scripture promises that also. But through the Bible we also learn that God will work everything for the good of those who love him (Romans 8:28), God's heart hurts when his people's heart hurts (John 11:35), and eventually he will wipe every tear from our eye forever (Revelation 21:4).


We don't have the option of a life without pain and heartbreak. We only have two options. We can choose not to believe God's fatherly promises revealed to us in scripture, and we can tackle life's pain on our own. Or we can choose to trust our Heavenly Father, leaning on him through life's most painful moments.


God has earned my trust. I hope he will eventually earn yours as well.

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Joseph Adams
Joseph Adams
10. Aug. 2023

I have a special bond with my son as well Drew, but also with my two daughters. I took a different route and I delivered all three of my children at our home with the assistance of a midwife. My eyes were the very first eyes any of my children saw and it was unspeakably amazing to look deep into their eyes with them staring deep into my eyes. May the Lord continue to bless your young family. I was hoping to deliver my gift card to you guys Sunday but I’m not sure I will be able to walk by then. Keep up these great missives, I find them quite inspiring.

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